Achieve rapport - Establish trust, explain your role in the interaction, make the other party feel comfortable, find an appropriate time and place to meet, begin on an even playing field.

Boil down the issues - Listen carefully, ask questions, get the “whole” story, address fears which might keep others from moving towards a solution.

Clarify their wants - Don’t make assumptions, ask clarifying questions, ask “what if” questions, find out what their issues and goals really are and what they want to accomplish.

Develop a game-plan - Collaborate, brainstorm possible solutions, be creative, be clear about what you can do and what they need to do, discuss a general time line in which things will get done and approximately when you will talk again.

Things to Remember:

• Be wary of jumping to conclusions or making assumptions.
• Empathize, don’t sympathize.
• LISTEN, ask questions, LISTEN, ask questions...

Dealing with Difficult People or Situations:

• Restate the other party thoroughly both repeating the content of what was said and acknowledging the feeling behind what was said. Ask them if you understood correctly or if there’s something they feel you haven’t heard.
• Make a list of the main issues and then tackle them one by one. Look for common interests and start there. Help refocus the other party when they start to stray.
• Check out their commitment to resolving the problem. Explain what you can realistically help with and what role they will need to play to accomplish their goals.

Conflict Resolution Strategies & Tips

Use the Language of Neutrality:

• Tell me more about...
• Can you give me some examples of...?
• Have you encountered this problem before? How did you deal with it then?
• If this situation occurred again, how would you handle it differently?
• What I hear you saying is...
• Can you suggest a solution that could resolve the problem of...?
• If (name) is willing to… does that change what you would consider as a solution?
• Do you see a way of doing that?
• What would make this solution work for you?
• What feels like a fair solution to you?

Rx for Prevention:

• Communicate needs….to everyone who is responsible for knowing.
• Know the channels….the university can easily appear to be a complicated bureaucracy.
• It’s important to understand its policies and the channels you must go through to resolve your problems.
• Don’t procrastinate! In most cases, the longer you wait, the harder it will be to solve your problem.

Seek Assistance:

Everyone has different abilities, at different times in their lives, to deal with adversity. There are several resources on campus to assist you. Ask for help when you’re stuck, need information, need ideas, or just need someone to listen.